(photo courtesy Goff White Design)


Today the world stopped. Literally. As if it has been thrown into retrograde and stopped spinning all together. For ninety minutes millions of people around the world paused to mourn the death of Michael Jackson.

I wasn't going to blog about Michael's memorial, there are so many people doing that already, but the commentary kills me. Twitter was popping, as usual. Many people were being respectful, and others were being themselves (asses), but twittering while I watched the memorial was like sharing it with a big group of friends. The web has made the whole world so tiny, and this man's music brought MILLIONS together. I am awe stuck, not only by the popularity of MJ, but by the sheer power of music.

And then, Donny Deutsch had to come along and wreck my high.

Deutsch was a guest on MSNBC's "the Ed Show" and he threw some serious shade on what was a joyous home going service. He claimed to not to want to be the "cold-hearted" guy, but claimed that all of us who were touched by Mike and shed a tear for him and his family needed to get a life.




After offending MJ fans everywhere, he went and hit me in the heart. While he continued to relegate Mike to being only a "great singer and dancer," he uttered some fighting words.

"I don't think music changes lives."

Record scratch. Say word?

Music has changed my life. It is something I take very personally. There are songs that have indelibly scratched themselves into my memory for all eternity. Moreover, I would not be a writer, would not have had the courage to speak my own story had I not heard Nas' Illmatic. Donny, music not only changes lives, it births them, it saves them, and it gives us something to keep striving for. How many babies have been made, relationships saved, revolutions started, and riots calmed just by music? When Africans were enslaved in America, music not only changed lives, it helped them spread the word about a path to freedom.

So Donny, don’t tell me music doesn’t change lives. If I have been reminded of one thing today it is how easily we can be united by a common thread. Despite racial, cultural, or economic differences, we can all find a commonality through music. It is truly a universal language.

Today I went to lunch with my grandmother, two brothers, and the kid and the talked turned quickly to Michael Jackson. I mean, he was a HUGE part of our childhood, especially for my older brother and me. I have been resisting the urge to write about Mike, because I'm sure, by now you've read every tribute, seen every video, and pulled out ever LP, CD, or MP3 of his music you've ever owned. But talking to my brother today brought it all back.

Michael Jackson is a LEGEND!

Michael Jackson's music indelibly scored much of my childhood. My bother and I reminisced about acting out the "Thriller" video--we'd put on the LP, he'd deepen his voice to mimic Vincent Price, and I'd tackle the dance moves. Around '85, my bro had a red leather, multi-zippered jacket, just like Mike. We thought it was so cool when we spotted it at the swap meet and BOTH begged our dad to buy it, pleeeeeaaasssseeee. Although my mother was very strict about what kind of music we could listen to, just about the only secular music we didn't have to sneak in the house was MJ. My mom made an exception only for him (Prince was way too much for my young ears), and we all crowded around the TV, super excited, when "Remember the Times" premiered on NBC.

As we talked, I realized just how BIG Michael Jackson was to all of us. My brother--mid 30s--was still able to tell me the songs from "Captain EO", a film we saw EVERY time we went to Disneyland (which was a lot). He was still able to tell me the ending of the video "Bad," and reminded me that "Smotth Criminal" had a super extended version that stared Joe Pesci. Our conversation made me really, really want to watch, "Moonwalker," a film that took viewers through MJ's career. I watched "Moonwalker" so many times I knew all the words & all of MJ's dance moves. My aunt had the movie and we'd watch it every time my dad dropped us off at her house. I called my aunt to see if she still had a copy, she didn't, but thank goodness for YouTube!

In honor of Michael, I want to share my favorite clip with you. Enjoy!





What is your favorite Michael Jackson memory?
What's your favorite song?

hysterical....

(but so true)



peace.

(created with Wordle)

it's friday night & have nothing to do...and i absolutely love it! i've been running for the past few weeks/weekends, always feeling like i've not fully rested when monday rolled around and it was time to go back to work. tonight i am surfing the web, reading political news sites, disgusted with some of our countrymen, and happy others are moving above the fray. i can honestly say i am worried that some people's true colors, the colors of hate and bigotry that have stained this country, are starting to bleed through. but i don't want to write about such things tonight. i would rather busy myself with frilly, fun things...

...like John Legend's new song, "Green Light". can i say that i LOVE this song? the fun, fast beat is perfect for dancing (which i'm doing as i type) and working out (which...i need to start doing again!).



looking for a fun way to kill time?

try this! tonight, i stumbled across Wordle.net, a site in which you can make your own word collage. so i searched my brain for words to describe myself & poof...it came out so cute. if you have some time, make your own, post a link & share (warning: it gets addicting!).

be blessed & enjoy your weekend.


(collage i created about Sen. Obama--i told you it was sort of addicting)

remember rapper Ahmad and his infectious hit, "Back In the Day" (..when i was young i'm not a kid anymore, but somedays, i sit & wish i was a kid again...)? well, this rapper turned Scholar is all grown up, and headed for Standford on a full scholarship (read the article).

i love stories like his. although he was a star athlete & honors student, he pursued his passion, made an album, and still saw the importance of education. in a time in which a lot of young, Black men are getting caught up in the hype and illusion of mainstream hip hop, this man actually makes school look cool again.

tomorrow, i am entering my 3rd year as middle school teacher. each of these years i've gone into my classroom filled with butterflies, ideas, and nervous energy. each year i've come to my room hopeful that this year i will get it right. this year, i will have my "Lean on Me"/"Dangerous Minds" moment when everything i say will click in the minds of my kids and they will be able to see the genius that dwells inside. i sound idealistic, i know, but you cannot be cynical and be a great educator. you cannot doubt the capacity of your students' ability to learn, grow, and thrive and still be an effective teacher.

"A child cannot be taught by anyone who despises him, and a child cannot afford to be fooled." ~James Baldwin

so i am hopeful. on the eve of another school year, this year will be the breakthrough. this year will be the beginning (or confirmation) of their love of learning. this will be the year that each and every child's life will be changed for the better and they will, for once in their life, have options.

i.
i love nasir jones. this beat is hot & the song is hella infectious. i heard it while listening to satellite radio in the rental, driving around upstate NY. the song SCREAMS summer to me, and makes me question...or ask myself...do heroes still exist?

what do you think?

(CLASSIC black love moment! Darius sums up the immediacy of love, in such adept words, i had to post this..even though it's grimy as all hell, but still, enjoy!)

Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.
~John Quincy Adams

John Adams had a point. patience and perseverance have the ability to change things in many, wonderful ways...but damn if it doesn't take forever!

today i saw beloved, and it took lots of patience, perseverance, and money to make this extremely short trip happen. you see, they had a festival today, which is sort of like a family picnic. it's the one time out of the whole year you can actually be outside, experience the sun, hold hands, and stroll around like teenagers, albeit, within limits. but it's a nice and welcomed change from having to sit knee to knee, across a table in a crowded visiting room.

the festival was cool, the sky was blue, clear and God held back the rain, but the sheer amount of time took for the COs to process us and drive us 100 feet inside the prison walls was RIDICULOUS! if i were new to this whole prison thing, and had a bad attitude, i would have been in trouble. but whenever you're dealing with the Department of Corrections, you already know your time isn't your own. you operate on their time, when they want to move, and when they see fit to allow you to reconnect with your loved ones. it sucks, but it is what you have to deal with to get to the good parts.

coming east always feels like home. even though i'm not a huge fan of upstate NY (i'm bored!), the change is welcomed. one of my favorite things is that you hear new songs on the radio. maybe it's because i've pretty much abandoned LA's urban radio stations for my iPod & NPR, but there are a lot of good songs i've been missing out one. one that i'm LOVING right now is Jazmine Sullivan's "I Need You Bad."



this song is takes me back to when beloved and i first got together. the VERY magical days when we couldn't get enough of each other. soon after i moved to NY, he invited me to a reception for one of his family's friends. it was a muggy, august night in Jamaica, Queens and it was one of the best parties i've been to. beloved is jamaican, so each party is complete with DJ and lots and lots of drinks. the vibe was so lovely, i remember getting tispy, and dancing real close to my man. i remember thinking life couldn't get much better than this: surrounded by the possibilities of a new city, deeply entrenched in the first stages of love, giddy-all-you-can-think-about-is-him-love, and in this backyard dancing to Sizzla and Sean Paul. this song single handedly brings back all of those memories. the music, the riddim feels like an old Marley tune, her voice sounds like Lauren when she fell in love with Rohan. the vibe is there. i played it for beloved when he called and he flipped. he loves it too, it reminds him of me, and him, and home. we both can't wait to get home, wherever that may be and just LIVE.

i pray your weekend is blessed.

if you have been reading this blog for a while, y'all already know how i feel about Nas. If not, read this, then let me know your thoughts about the vid.

i'm looking forward to the conversations we'll spark off this.

(and this is how i spent my memorial day. the munchkin & i headed to the beach...he isn't too keen on the waves, but LOVED playing in the sand!)

i knew it had to come to an end, but who knew the weekend would feel so short?

a MILLION thanks to all of you to left bday wishes & shout outs, those that sent up prayers, and my sista-friend, Xtina who sent me WONDERFUL a gift! my bday weekend is officially over, but i thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. i have eaten out more times than. even i. can deal with, i danced the night away to some SOULful music, and i got to wrap it all up at the beach. this weekend has been truly magical & it just makes me look forward to all that the summer will bring. i can't wait!


(Chrisette tearing up the stage!)

the concert was LOVELY y'all. although i was VERY excited to see Raheem Devaughn, the show-stopper was my girl, Chrisette Michele! this girl is FIERCE! she reminds me of a younger Jill Scott. her voice, her stage presence, her thick-girl swag...it was pure story-telling in action. she COMPLETELY outshined Raheem & my friends and I felt like even if he hadn't stepped on the stage, we got out money's worth! if she comes to your city....RUN to see her! it's THAT serious.


(Raheem Devaughn...tryna look all sexual chocolate! lol)

speaking of Raheem, he was pretty good too, but...i felt something lacking. perhaps it was because of the fact that ALL of the songs he performed dealt with love-making and he proceeded to gyrate, grind, and hump the floor (ala Sir Bobby Brown). plus...he's just NOT attractive (to me). brotha better be glad he can croon, cuz had he have been average joe # 2...he'd get NO play from the ladies. the whole time he was singing i was distracted by his shiny ass lips & aviator glasses. i know i sound shallow, but yeah. i was glad he did my songs, "You" & "Guess Who Loves You More."

can you tell i had a good time? beloved called and called and called & sent me two BEAUTIFUL cards! i got some ends, and treated myself to a mani & pedi. i dances, i drank, and i relaxed. the weekend was full and fulfilling, and i am SO thankful for making it another year!

how was your weekend, y'all? was it as good as mine? *smile*

bless

buy me a drink, pin some bday dollars to my shirt, dedicate a song to me...let's have FUN cuz it's my birthday!




(i'm not a fanatical beyonce fan, but i'm LOVING this song lately. it gets me through my workouts and it always makes me shake a little something and dance.)

ahhhh...another year older, and hopefully wiser. i look back on this year as another tough one, but one that has been full of life lessons. the biggest lesson i think God has taught me (and continues to teach me) is the virtue of patience. i have always been a fairly impatient person. i want what i want when i want it (read: now!). however, being a mother to a 2-year old who also has his own brand of impatience has taught me to relax and be patient. my professional life has also taught me to chill. there are days i want to pull my hair out, shake a kid or scream on an unruly student, but that would only lead to the weave shop & unemployment line so i'm forced to remain even tempered and take things in stride. and y'all already know my relationship screams PATIENCE! i want beloved to spend this long, bday weekend with me...but unfortunately it is not so...

here i am, taking in all the lessons, wisdom, and blessings that have been bestowed upon me this year. i am so thankful for making it this far. thankful for my 28 years. i embrace getting older & look forward to all that i will experience in life. i pray i have decades left to go, see, and accomplish EVERYTHING in my heart.

so come...celebrate with me. turn up your speakers, play your favorite songs, do a little dance, light your best smelling candles, have some chocolate and just have a good time with me.



(i can't wait to hear this song tonight. i'm going to try to make my way {*ehem* elbow} to the front of the stage when he sings this. i will imagine that he's singing to ME.)

a.
it's a lazy day. for once, i don't have a sorority meeting to attend, or any other real plans for the day. my little brother borrowed my car, so we are also without wheels and the munchkin's stroller has been in the trunk of my mom's car ever since she picked us up from the airport last week, so walking is out (i ain't carrying no 34lb child to the park!). so we're stuck. bound to the house until further notice. it isn't so bad. i've been surfing the web looking up random things: music, real estate, the news, researching for a project i'm working on, reading a friend's manuscript & lots of other very random things. exciting, eh?

b.
i came across this song "Walk in My Shoes" by Emily King, & wanted to share it with y'all. i dig it. i love new artists. i'm sick of the same boring, preprogrammed songs we get on radio. i haven't really listened to the radio (except NPR) since i got my ipod, which has been great, but it has limited my exposure to new music. i like her voice. i miss listening to "real" music, whatever that really means. i'm sort of tired of listening to the songs i already love. i need fresh inspiration. new sounds and voices i can fall in love with.



c.
on some saturdays & sundays, either on the way to a hair appointment, or coming home from the early morning service at church, i tune into "This American Life" on NPR. the first episode i heard, "Harold" profiled Chicago's first black mayor, Harold Washington. i was totally enthralled by the adept storytelling of the show. until recently (old age?) i wasn't really into talk/news radio. but the older i get, the more impatient i become with the immaturity of urban radio. this show is a breath of fresh air. i am entertained and educated all at once. it has become a staple in my weekend routine. check it out.

what are you plans for the weekend? anything special?

so, being high off my new ipod i set on a quest to find something new. i've been stuck on the same loop of the roots, mos def, common, illy jilly, and badu for like EVER, so i needed something fresh to add to the collection. don't get me wrong, i still love the classics, but i need some new blood.

saturday night i stumbled across Estelle, an Afro-Carribean Brit, with voice and swagger for days. so far i've downloaded a few of her songs, but i'm diggin what i've heard thus far. her style is a cross between 90s basement-funk/soulful house, brand new heavies, and moni love (huh?). i know, i know, my description is a bit convoluted (and perhaps all wrong), so i'll just let her introduce herself.

"Wait A Minute" ft. John Legend


American Boy Ft. Kanye West


what NEW music/artists have you discovered recently that you're LOVING?

i finally did it.

i finally shelled out the $150 for a new ipod. i've been putting it off for over a year now, since my last one mysteriously came up broken. you see, although i freely spend (way too much) money on my son, my husband, and on random trips to Target, when it comes time to buy something for myself, i freeze. i quickly begin thinking of all the upcoming bills, and how we will be traveling soon, and how high gas is...and i end up not buying anything. i rarely buy myself new pairs of shoes, i don't buy a lot of clothes, and this ipod...i've been eying it for some time now. but last night, on a trip to *ehem* Target, i bit the bullet and bought one.

and guess what?
i'm SO glad i did!

i'm still a little shaky on the fact that i spent $150 on it, especially considering we'll be making another trip to see beloved soon, but i'm glad i got it. music motivates me so much, and now i have no excuse to skip a workout or neglect writing or whatever...because my muse is back.

what's on your ipod or in your stereo these days? (i need suggestions. i have a lot of space to fill!)

Kujichagulia: To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.


(no images, just audio ~ black star "K.O.S." ~enjoy)

day 2 of Kwanzaa is dedicated to self-determination, or defining one's self in spite of what others may say or think of you. self-determination and defining one's self is, arguably, the purpose of life. once we are able to create our own authentic identities for ourselves and by ourselves, i argue that we, as individuals and a people, will have achieved true freedom. it's like being able to be your own boss, and basking in how freeing that can be. but with that freedom comes immense responsibility. let's not take it, or ourselves, for granted.

"The fire's in my eyes and the flames need fanning
With that what? Knowledge Of Self, Determination"

peace.

Umoja: To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.


today marks the first day of Kwanzaa, the seven days after Christmas that aims reinforce the seven collective principles of African culture. today's focus is Umoja, or Unity.



i have always LOVED this song. for a time, it operated as my theme song, my anthem. i played it daily, sometimes several time a day basking in the strength and beauty of the horns and Latifah's words. even today, i am still moved whenever i hear it, and my swagger becomes that much more fierce.

at first listen, the song may seem not to speak much to "Unity" as it does to female empowerment, but when you think about it, a community cannot rise and achieve FULL unity until all of its members are valued and respected. as audre lorde so aptly stated, "It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences."

in this Kwanzaa season and beyond, let us focus on trying to celebrate and accept that which makes us beautifully unique.

peace

(pic taken by my camera phone. i took this after her encore. she came out to test out a song she wrote in the hotel. check out the hotel pad in her hand. an artist never stops. lovely!)


untitled (inspired by she)

last night     a testimony of words
echoed through wombs
waves of blues met
earlobes    hips and fingers
   pursed as if
waiting for a savior

a philly jawn
honeyed and aged
urgent like
rain in the dessert
weaving stories through time
bringing us
closer
to ourselves

~~~~***~~~
i had the pleasure to see jill perform last night. WHEW LAWD! is all i can say about THAT. you. must. go. see. her. now.

just when i was running out of steam, wondering if it's worth it to come to this blog and write about nothing, about random things, about the struggle that is my life, i checked my TPW email and i was greeted with THE most beautiful email from a reader. this is why the old folks say, God works in mysterious ways. i received an email from a woman (hello, sis) whose nephew is locked up. apparently she has been reading this blog for a while and was afraid to write me, and i assume comment, because she is not "in love" with someone who is incarcerated, so she continued reading silently. thankfully, she pushed past her trepidation and sent me an email.

in this email i found...inspiration, validation, and love. i found someone who spoke to the critic inside me who constantly wonders if this blog/my words matters to anyone besides me. i literally starting to get all teary-eyed as i read it, because it was just BEYOND my comprehension that anyone, anywhere would find strength, comfort, or anything profound out of my thoughts. it made me think...made me wonder...how many people are searching for someone to spark a bit of love, some calm, ignite them with passion, grant them solace...and never find that because we are too afraid to share ourselves?

I absolutely love Mos Def, and this song, "Umi Says" is one of my all time favorites. I love the simplicity of his prose, wanting to live a good life, wishing freedom to the oppressed, begging us to share our light, ourselves with the world. no one can contribute what we can. this reader's email was a testament to the power of sharing a piece of yourself...you will get it back a million times over.

bless.

i haven't watched a music video in THE longest time, but i love this one. i happened to be flipping through the channels and came across Common's video, "The People." AYO! he looks BEAUTIFUL! he shook e. badu & the knitted caps, put on some muscle and is looking mad fly! *whew* heard a few cuts from the album (Finding Forever ~ July 31st) & i can't wait!

*enjoy*