Last week, Saturday made himself welcome in my bedroom. Blood orange suit clinging to the corners of my eyes. I rose, energized and welcomed the sun to my private party. Born day # 29 began slow-like you always want Saturday to be.

Savored it. Went for a walk, just because there’s no better way to kick off a birthday than to get the blood pumping. When I got home, my little son sang his birthday wishes.

“Happy birthday to mommeeeeee, happy birthday to yooooooou, happy birthday to mommeeeee! Now, let’s eat cake!”

He was so pleased with himself. He’d been practicing the song for weeks, usually singing it to himself in preparation for his birthday, 6 months away. His infectious smile made me laugh, and he gave me my present: lots and lots of juicy birthday kisses.

I didn’t have any special plans for my birthday. Choosing, instead, to celebrate it with my family enjoying the breezy, bright Saturday afternoon. We had lunch, strolled around the Grove looking in store windows, watched the koi swim in the pond, and tried to keep my little one from going in after them. Relaxing.

Birthdays demand reflection. I spent Saturday, and the ensuing long Memorial day weekend, being thankful for all that I have been blessed with. Yes, my life isn’t perfect. My beloved is locked up and will be gone for 9 more summers and I might be unemployed by the end of June, but I have my health, my life, and my beautiful son who is somehow able to put a smile on my face even when I’m in the midst of the deepest funks.

Lincoln once wrote, “In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.” I’m trying to live every single day to its fullest and appreciate all that I’ve been blessed with because for some, their years have run out.

Tomorrow, I will attend a funeral for a woman I’ve known for over 10 years. She’s been a mentor to me, especially during my teaching years. For over 40 years she dedicated her life to educating little brown girls and boys before it was cut short Monday night. When someone so loving, supporting, and down right fun passes unexpectedly, it forces me to be thankful. I am more thankful for everything, especially every woman in my life that has molded me into the mommy, teacher and woman I am today.

so, i survived throwing my first kid birthday party! and now i know why the munchkin hadn't had one up until now: it's waaaaaaaaay too much work!

yesterday we hosted the munchkin's 3rd birthday party in the backyard of my grandma's house. perhaps it would have been less stressful had i put more time into planning the event, but i'm a procrastinator, so i only had about a week and a half to pull it all together. my goal was to create a fun, no-fuss, low-maintenance party, and i think i pulled it off, in spite of the tight timeline and mounting expenses.

the munckin is a HUGE Curious George fan, so that was our theme. i had a Curious George cake made, picked out some key character accents (hats, napkins, banner, etc), and just decorated the rest of the yard in George's colors (from the 99 cent store) to save money. it worked. the yard looked festive, and no one cared that the backyard wasn't draping in Curious George. as a matter of fact, i doubt they noticed.

i'm not the conventional party planner, so i nixed the games and just made sure the kids had something to do. we had a jumper, a cheap lawn bowling set (a previous gift), and i brought out the munckin's big wheel and soccer ball. the kids ran, played, got super dirty and enjoyed themselves. i couldn't find a pinata i liked, so i sent all the kids home with a FABULOUS grab bag full of candy and cheap toys (bubbles, play dough, and whistles).

all in all it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. i definitely won't be throwing him a party every year, but we can do it every couple of years. the most important part was that he had a BALL! the whole entire time he only sat still to eat. he played HARD, jumped till his little legs got tired, and enjoyed playing with all the kids.

so my job was done, and today, i'm still recuperating LOL.

how was your weekend?

so, i've been toying with the idea of throwing the munchkin a birthday party in a few weeks. to date, he hasn't had a "real" party. he's had some birthday dinners, but what does that really mean to a 2 year old? my argument has always been that he would never remember a party & it would mean absolutely nothing to him anyway, but apparently, those around me are looking at me like i'm depriving my child of some sort of right of passage.

as i sit here and search for a site (Chuck E. Cheese?) for a party, the sheer amount of money people spend on these celebrations is sort of daunting. first, the venue. i don't have the luxury of a backyard, so having it at home is out. there's Chuck E. Cheese, which is fairly cheap if you have the party during the week, and a bit more expensive on the weekends. then you have your specialty places such as The Little Gym or Kid's Concept which is asking approximately $500 for the venue and a "party attendant," which just sounds absurd to me. and finally, there's the park, which is my personal favorite, but seeing as the kid's birthday is close to the end of October, the weather can be a bit dicey. i'm on the verge of just buying him another FABULOUS birthday cake & calling it a day.

all this talk about paying for a venue, and party favors, and a gift brings me back to the cost of raising a child on your own. because i like facts, i googled it and i found this:


(click to enlarge)

according to msn money's central, it will cost me approximately $250,000 to raise my son (which doesn't include the cost of college). when i think about that amount my mind is blown. it's so hard for me to wrap my mind around the money it takes to provide for my son, and going at it alone is even more stressful. i don't want him to miss out on anything simply because we are all we got (for right now), but i can't spend carelessly on gifts and parties either.

i was listening to This American Life the other day and they profiled Geoffery Canada and his project, The Harlem Children Zone. a friend of mind used to work there, and i was really intrigued and inspired by their work. Mr. Canada's mission is to provide education to the kids of Harlem from birth through college in the hopes that focusing on the child (not the parent) will help raise kids out of the cycle of poverty. listening to the broadcast solidified in my mind that no matter how much money you make, what matters is how much time and energy you invest on the things that actually count. reading to your child, letting him explore his world, tempering discipline, all of these things will mean more in the long run than how fabulous his 3rd birthday party was.

(and this is how i spent my memorial day. the munchkin & i headed to the beach...he isn't too keen on the waves, but LOVED playing in the sand!)

i knew it had to come to an end, but who knew the weekend would feel so short?

a MILLION thanks to all of you to left bday wishes & shout outs, those that sent up prayers, and my sista-friend, Xtina who sent me WONDERFUL a gift! my bday weekend is officially over, but i thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. i have eaten out more times than. even i. can deal with, i danced the night away to some SOULful music, and i got to wrap it all up at the beach. this weekend has been truly magical & it just makes me look forward to all that the summer will bring. i can't wait!


(Chrisette tearing up the stage!)

the concert was LOVELY y'all. although i was VERY excited to see Raheem Devaughn, the show-stopper was my girl, Chrisette Michele! this girl is FIERCE! she reminds me of a younger Jill Scott. her voice, her stage presence, her thick-girl swag...it was pure story-telling in action. she COMPLETELY outshined Raheem & my friends and I felt like even if he hadn't stepped on the stage, we got out money's worth! if she comes to your city....RUN to see her! it's THAT serious.


(Raheem Devaughn...tryna look all sexual chocolate! lol)

speaking of Raheem, he was pretty good too, but...i felt something lacking. perhaps it was because of the fact that ALL of the songs he performed dealt with love-making and he proceeded to gyrate, grind, and hump the floor (ala Sir Bobby Brown). plus...he's just NOT attractive (to me). brotha better be glad he can croon, cuz had he have been average joe # 2...he'd get NO play from the ladies. the whole time he was singing i was distracted by his shiny ass lips & aviator glasses. i know i sound shallow, but yeah. i was glad he did my songs, "You" & "Guess Who Loves You More."

can you tell i had a good time? beloved called and called and called & sent me two BEAUTIFUL cards! i got some ends, and treated myself to a mani & pedi. i dances, i drank, and i relaxed. the weekend was full and fulfilling, and i am SO thankful for making it another year!

how was your weekend, y'all? was it as good as mine? *smile*

bless

buy me a drink, pin some bday dollars to my shirt, dedicate a song to me...let's have FUN cuz it's my birthday!




(i'm not a fanatical beyonce fan, but i'm LOVING this song lately. it gets me through my workouts and it always makes me shake a little something and dance.)

ahhhh...another year older, and hopefully wiser. i look back on this year as another tough one, but one that has been full of life lessons. the biggest lesson i think God has taught me (and continues to teach me) is the virtue of patience. i have always been a fairly impatient person. i want what i want when i want it (read: now!). however, being a mother to a 2-year old who also has his own brand of impatience has taught me to relax and be patient. my professional life has also taught me to chill. there are days i want to pull my hair out, shake a kid or scream on an unruly student, but that would only lead to the weave shop & unemployment line so i'm forced to remain even tempered and take things in stride. and y'all already know my relationship screams PATIENCE! i want beloved to spend this long, bday weekend with me...but unfortunately it is not so...

here i am, taking in all the lessons, wisdom, and blessings that have been bestowed upon me this year. i am so thankful for making it this far. thankful for my 28 years. i embrace getting older & look forward to all that i will experience in life. i pray i have decades left to go, see, and accomplish EVERYTHING in my heart.

so come...celebrate with me. turn up your speakers, play your favorite songs, do a little dance, light your best smelling candles, have some chocolate and just have a good time with me.



(i can't wait to hear this song tonight. i'm going to try to make my way {*ehem* elbow} to the front of the stage when he sings this. i will imagine that he's singing to ME.)

twenty-seventh trip
'round the sun         wondering what
this voyage will bring