"So after a horrendous ordeal my wife felt it better to end our lives and why leave our children in someone's else's hands, in addition it seems Kiaser Permanente want's us to kill ourselves and take our family with us. They did nothing to the manager who stated such, and did not attempt to assist us in the matter, knowing we have no job and 5 children under 8 years with no place to go. So here we are."

~from the Suicide letter of Ervin Lupoe

i always wonder what would make a person take their own life. when i was in college, a friend of mine shot herself after finding out she was pregnant. that shook me. made me wonder how someone can get so blinded by the present that they are unable to see the options just around the corner. i mean, i know life can get very dark, but there is always daybreak after a storm.

on Monday, 60,000 jobs evaporated and Ervin Lupoe, a local man, killed his entire family. he shot each of his five children (all under 8 years old), his wife, and finally took his own life after calling 911. he was driven to this dismal fate by the job losses of both he and his wife. the Lupoes were deep in debt, broke and desperate. bad combination.

when things like this occur i always try to put myself in the other person's head. when my friend killed herself, i couldn't fathom ending my life over something that could be resolved. i mean, you always have options. and with this--the murder-suicide--no matter how deep the debt, the children didn't deserve to die. they could have been adopted or raised by relatives, or their parents could have gotten their shit together and worked their way out of debt. there are always options. always.

the economy is hard on us all. my employer just authorized the layoff of nearly 3000 teachers due to the lack of state funding. as a new teacher, one of those lost jobs could be mine. no matter what happens though, i am blessed to have perspective and the wherewithal to know that even when times get tough, i'll come out alright in the end.

i wonder, if this recession will drive up the suicide rate. i wonder how the loss of jobs and lack of funding for social services will affect the crime rate. i wonder if people will have the foresight to realize that no matter what, tomorrow is a new day with a new set of options. i'm not sure what the next year will bring, but i'm hopeful that we'll all come out on top, eventually.

It's hard to watch or read the news from around the world and still be hopeful. With our economy in turmoil, dragged down by crippled banks and the price of fuel, I'm amazed that people are treating their economic stimulus checks like Christmas cash. I banked most of my check and the rest went toward paying Sallie Mae, but as I walked the mall yesterday I noticed it was crowded with people spending in times where it seems we should be saving.

The news from around the world is even crazier.

Two years ago I blogged briefly about the issue in Darfur & the lack of action by the West. It's amazing to me that, even after Rwanda, people have been slow to act in Sudan. China, the home of this year's Olympic games, is one of Sudan's biggest sponsors, yet we are not holding them accountable for their role in the upheaval. As my mother would say, that would be too much like right. But today, the International Criminal Court, is seriously considering issuing an arrest warrant for Sudan's president, Omar Hassan al-Bashir. Although it seems like the absolute right thing to do, nothing is ever black and white when people's lives are at stake. The UN is worried that any criminal action will anger the president and cause him to lash out at diplomats and Aid workers, who are so desperately needed. It's a precarious situation for sure, and every issue and action seems to be shrouded in shades of gray.

If you had any doubt that ISMs still exists, all you have to do is look at Ohio. I was SHOCKED to found out that a rural town in Ohio was denied water, yes WATER, because its residents were black. Although water lines were laid in 1956, residents did not receive PUBLIC WATER until 2003. Crazy, right? Read for yourself (here).

In France, a Muslim woman was denied citizenship on the grounds of "insufficient assimilation." Although she speaks the language, has children born in France, and is married to a French national, apparently she is too submissive (to her religion, to her husband, etc) to be a French citizen (read). It's easy for us (Westerners) to say that she is being oppressed by her religion or her husband because we don't understand her choices, but those are HER choices. This makes me wonder if something like this would ever happen in America. Like America, France also has the freedom of religion provision in their constitution, however this woman was denied specifically on the basis of her submission to her religion. Our president has already played fast and loose with our Constitutional rights (FISA anyone?), I wonder which one is next?

Although I am an optimist, I am also a realist. Race, class, and gender issues are still a factor in our world today. The presidential race brought many of these issues to light and forced Americans to begin having conversations on these issues, but it's clear that nothing has really been resolved.

On July 23rd and 24th, CNN will air their documentary, "Black in America." I'm interested in seeing & having conversations with you all about it. I was wondering if you'd like to have a LIVE blog event during the program? My idea is, we'd watch the program and basically converse as it's happening here in the comments section. That way we can discuss the issues as they occur to us, and receive feedback from each other. Let me know if it's a good idea and if you'd like to be involved, or if you'd like to watch the program and then talk.

be blessed.