"So after a horrendous ordeal my wife felt it better to end our lives and why leave our children in someone's else's hands, in addition it seems Kiaser Permanente want's us to kill ourselves and take our family with us. They did nothing to the manager who stated such, and did not attempt to assist us in the matter, knowing we have no job and 5 children under 8 years with no place to go. So here we are."

~from the Suicide letter of Ervin Lupoe

i always wonder what would make a person take their own life. when i was in college, a friend of mine shot herself after finding out she was pregnant. that shook me. made me wonder how someone can get so blinded by the present that they are unable to see the options just around the corner. i mean, i know life can get very dark, but there is always daybreak after a storm.

on Monday, 60,000 jobs evaporated and Ervin Lupoe, a local man, killed his entire family. he shot each of his five children (all under 8 years old), his wife, and finally took his own life after calling 911. he was driven to this dismal fate by the job losses of both he and his wife. the Lupoes were deep in debt, broke and desperate. bad combination.

when things like this occur i always try to put myself in the other person's head. when my friend killed herself, i couldn't fathom ending my life over something that could be resolved. i mean, you always have options. and with this--the murder-suicide--no matter how deep the debt, the children didn't deserve to die. they could have been adopted or raised by relatives, or their parents could have gotten their shit together and worked their way out of debt. there are always options. always.

the economy is hard on us all. my employer just authorized the layoff of nearly 3000 teachers due to the lack of state funding. as a new teacher, one of those lost jobs could be mine. no matter what happens though, i am blessed to have perspective and the wherewithal to know that even when times get tough, i'll come out alright in the end.

i wonder, if this recession will drive up the suicide rate. i wonder how the loss of jobs and lack of funding for social services will affect the crime rate. i wonder if people will have the foresight to realize that no matter what, tomorrow is a new day with a new set of options. i'm not sure what the next year will bring, but i'm hopeful that we'll all come out on top, eventually.