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where do baby daddies come from?

Posted by the prisoner's wife On 9:48 AM
where do baby daddies come from?



(Preface: I was reading Slate.com & they had an article on the origins of "baby daddies")



Every time I hear someone say, "that's my baby daddy," I cringe. When I found out I was pregnant early last year, I swore that those words, "baby daddy," would NEVER come out my mouth. I quickly told my beloved that he could never refer to me as his "baby mother" even though his Jamaican accent makes it sounds more like "babimadda" and I would hear him refer to his brother's girlfriend (and other women in his family) as such. But still. That ain't me.

When I hear that phrase "baby daddy" I instantly think...(God help me)...uneducated woman with three children, by three different men. Somehow this phrase has become common place and cool, and with all things black (and "cool"), it has been co-opted by the mainstream (read: white folks).

Baby daddy has now taken it's (rightful?) place along side Bootylicious in the Oxford English Dictionary. It is defined as, "the father of a woman's child, who is not her husband or (in most cases) her current or exclusive partner."

Why people?

Why does this phrase need to be in a dictionary? This makes me wonder what the prerequisites are for new additions to the dictionary? Wasn't "Jiggy" enough?

What do y'all think?





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14 Response to 'where do baby daddies come from?'

  1. Stephen Bess Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147114080000#c114711412129937892'> Monday, May 08, 2006 11:48:00 AM

    This, of course, means that these particular words or phrases (baby daddy, jiggy, etc) have been accepted and frequently used by the dominant culture here in America. America has always burrowed from black popular culture (language, fashion, etc.). As a matter of fact, African Americans have a tremendous influence on American popular culture! It brings to mind the term, "Rock -n- Roll" which was a black slang term for sex in the 1950's. This was an appropriate name for the music at the time that was commonly called, "nigger music" by some of the general public. this was mostly due to the fact that most of Rocks pioneers and stars were black. I wonder what's next? Good post!

     

  2. jasai Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147116960000#c114711696198180324'> Monday, May 08, 2006 12:36:00 PM

    Let 'em have it they want it so bad. But i agree, you would never catch me saying it.

     

  3. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147122120000#c114712212406953726'> Monday, May 08, 2006 2:02:00 PM

    SB: yeah...we make it cool, they make it profitable. such is life.

    J: *lol* they can surely have it. i just don't want it applied to us anymore.

     

  4. Tigerkiss Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147220340000#c114722038739849619'> Tuesday, May 09, 2006 5:19:00 PM

    I dont why this term was made but I happen to think it depends on who is sayng it. either in a condescending way or a term of endearment I have heard both...who knows i am not accustomed to saying it though

     

  5. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147287660000#c114728769870508433'> Wednesday, May 10, 2006 12:01:00 PM

    language is alive and changes with each new genaration. I kind of feel the same way about, spoken word, used to mean poetry. Is it poetry or not? My mind isn't as of yet made up on that question. On one hand I think that it is the poetry of this new genaration and on the other I think that spoken word is closer to rap. Untill I make up my mind I am giving it over to poetry just in case I am just an old (53) school poetry who is behind the times.

     

  6. sweetness Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147288020000#c114728805431037459'> Wednesday, May 10, 2006 12:07:00 PM

    i sooooo agree with u. it's unfortunate that as a culture silly slangs, baggy clothes, and bling bling is what we want to be remembered for. i refer to my daughter's father by either's is name or my daughter's father. this idea of havin children out of wed lock has become so ordinary so if u were to say ur married people would laugh after u as if it was bizarre.

     

  7. jasai Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147289160000#c114728918092615664'> Wednesday, May 10, 2006 12:26:00 PM

    I refuse to believe that people are laughing at the status of married, especially not when placed up against being a baby's mama or daddy.

    We'd better get real honest real fast about the importance of family structure and the significance of marriage, especially in the black community.

    Denying it is the root of so much of what has gone wrong.

     

  8. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147291380000#c114729142115667986'> Wednesday, May 10, 2006 1:03:00 PM

    David,

    i agree. language is always growing & changing. but i think the argument (or discussion) about poetry & spoken word...is far different than my argument that "baby daddy" need not be inducted into the dictionary.

    but back to your question...

    IMO, spoken word is a type of poetry, just as be-bop is a type of jazz. sounds different than the "norm," but is still encompassed by the genre.

    J,

    i'm not sure she meant that people would ACTUALLY laugh at someone who said they were married. but i think she has somewhat of a valid point. these days we are more used to hearing that so-and-so has a child, (but isn't married), than hearing that so-and-so is getting married.

    but i agree with you. we do need to get real honest about family & start championing it, so we can make it as a community.

     

  9. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147305960000#c114730600191328263'> Wednesday, May 10, 2006 5:06:00 PM

    I guess the term is a reflection of a society where people have a number of children by different partners. I must say I was taken aback when a taxi driver was telling me about his children - he had 6 (he was about 30)...2 of his children were aged 2 and I said "oh, twins" - when he said no they weren't twins, I got really confused...he eventually said, by two different mothers - then there was an embarrased silence. lol

     

  10. Pamela Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147316220000#c114731622132018923'> Wednesday, May 10, 2006 7:57:00 PM

    While I am really uncomfortable by the verbiage...I am less concerned with the symantecs than I am with the impact on the lives of these innocent children.

    Call me old school but, I firmly believe in the importance of a two parent family. Whether that is accomplished sans marriage or not is not for me to decide for others but...often "baby daddy" denotes an absence (or lack of import) of the daddy.

    This is such a result of 400 years of slavery and Willie Lynch. Not to say it isn't epidemic in the white community but, I am not concerned with those that have "priviledge" on their side.

    It is about personal accountability...do your thing but, don't make a child suffer the consequences.

     

  11. Trula Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147820340000#c114782036411995296'> Tuesday, May 16, 2006 3:59:00 PM

    Well being that I am one of those women with 3 kids by 3 different men, maybe my opinion doesn't count for much. But I don't think the terms 'baby mama' and 'baby daddy' are that big a deal. They pretty much sum up what the relationship will be forever between the 2 parties involved, more so than ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

     

  12. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147822080000#c114782212896826594'> Tuesday, May 16, 2006 4:28:00 PM

    Trula,

    i didn't mean to imply that women (or men) with children by multiple partners is a negative. i know quite a few dynamic folks who just happened to have their children by different folks.

    it's just the term istself really rubs me the wrong way (or could it be the way it SOUNDS?). perhaps it should be what it is..."my son's/daughter's father/mother"??

     

  13. Blackhoney Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1147925460000#c114792546951174182'> Wednesday, May 17, 2006 9:11:00 PM

    We can get rid of this word by simply stop making men we are not married to our baby daddies.The power is in the hands and vagina of the Black woman if she chooses to use it properly.Keep your legs closed and BOOM! this phrase no longer exists.

     

  14. Anonymous Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/05/where-do-baby-daddies-come-from.html?showComment=1175479980000#c2379043130654680452'> Sunday, April 01, 2007 7:13:00 PM

    God said that sex is a gift for married people....partly set up that way to protect women and men and especially children...I don't get it why people pray and pray and pray to God and ask them for things but they don't bother to follow God's guidelines for life. Gimme gimme gimme but give nothing in return.