slow motion is better than no motion
Arrows on tarrot cards pointing to the grind
Po' livin in more prisons, pointing to my mind, shine the light up
Clench my fists tight, holding the right up
Freedom fight in dark gear for the years to get brighter
~Common "The Food"
If I have learned anything at all throughout this whole process of jail and visits and collect calls and lawyers is that patience is a priceless weapon. Nothing happens when it's supposed to happen. My beloved's trial was scheduled to begin this week, but it was postponed because the DA isn't ready. Now he has another court date, scheduled nearly two months from now, just so they can set another trial date, in which case the DA may or may not be ready then either. We try to take this as a good sign, but it's so hard to really tell. The court system is so congested, that you are forced to simply wait.
The thing that kills me is that while we are waiting, my beloved has to sit in jail, as if he has already been convicted of a crime (which, he never has). Considering our system is supposed to assume innocence, I find it mighty ironic that if you cannot make bail or aren't granted bail, you are basically sentenced to an indefinite jail term and thrown into a whole new world of people who are either 1)heading upstate to serve hard time, 2) cycling in and out of the system or 3) detainees, waiting on the system, just like you.
When this all began we were cautioned that this is an extremely slow process. Initially, we were told that it may take until mid 2007 before his case went to trial. Perhaps they try to prepare you for the worse, so you sell yourself out for a plea-bargain. Who knows. My beloved won't cop to anything, so we wait and leave it in the hands of God.
I try to imagine his world. When we he calls it is so loud--the clanging, the men, the CO's yelling for the count. Although my beloved is a pretty humble man, he is also very tough and won't allow anyone to take advantage of him. So there have been fights or near-fights (and a broken hand), because after all "you have to do what you have to do."
With men head to foot, clashing tempers, and building frustration it is so easy to catch another case while you are waiting for your day in court. This is what I am afraid of. So I pray nightly and during the day and while I'm driving or in the shower. And I ask God to sustains him. Help him to keep a level head, and keep him away from all negativity. Thank You God. Amen.
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