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I am a mommy, scribe, and middle-school English teacher. I am trying to cope with being separated from my beloved. DoUWantMore? email me: theprisonerswife@gmail.com

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The Itch

Posted by the prisoner's wife On 8:41 PM



the break-up muse



        matched
mis
words strewn
lying heavily on your tongue

i don’t understand
your needs
       unmet
mine

       alone
we
love in the trenches

(c) me, 2003

~~~
last week i spent three days with beloved. we hadn't seen each other since we rang in the new year and he was itching to see me. truth be told, i was ok with not making the trip, but i knew that our visitings are already few and far between.

before our trip i was feeling kinda uninspired by our relationship. we slipped into the dangerous lull of taking each other for granted. afterall, we live totally separate, but connected, lives. he is constantly on alert, dealing with the harsh realities of being locked up, unable to really be free. and i am just dealing with the day-to-day mundaneness of raising a child, working, and trying to keep my head above water. it has been so easy for me to detach myself from OUR life together. not that my love for him had been diminished, but it has certainly been forced to take a back seat to other parts of life.

but last week...good lord, the air was still damp with new snow, the sun somehow broke through, and once again i was greeted by love, my love. we talked, we shared meals, and we breathed in the solace of each other. it was like a reunion that helped to put our relationship into perspective again, to light the fire again.

and now i miss him.

i haven't really ached in a while. i haven't really, really missed him in a while. i've learned to control the missing. learned to put my feelings on the back burner just to make it through each day. but after seeing him, breathing him, i'm once again left feeling...everything.

5 Response to 'The Itch'

  1. Resah Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2009/04/itch.html?showComment=1240117920000#c5753011826953648964'> Saturday, April 18, 2009 10:12:00 PM

    I like your poem. It's beautiful and sad/difficult in a way I understand very well. "love in the trenches" is exactly the right image. Me and my love are doing it too.

    I'm glad you had a good visit. I wish you both very well.

    peace...

     

  2. Lovebabz Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2009/04/itch.html?showComment=1240234320000#c675065721980566795'> Monday, April 20, 2009 6:32:00 AM

    You are such a gifted poet.

    Keep writing.

     

  3. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2009/04/itch.html?showComment=1240271280000#c3227055932234671068'> Monday, April 20, 2009 4:48:00 PM

    Resah: thank you. i wish you & your beloved well also.

    Babz: thank you, sis. one day i'll act on it.

     

  4. Christina Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2009/04/itch.html?showComment=1240370760000#c8770986574984974501'> Tuesday, April 21, 2009 8:26:00 PM

    Your words.. so filled with spirit and love. I am so glad you had the chance to visit, the chance to miss him.
    Love you both!

     

  5. sue Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2009/04/itch.html?showComment=1242212520000#c6174482859652258900'> Wednesday, May 13, 2009 4:02:00 AM

    Your ability to love is a gift. The depth of it, the complexity, shine in these kinds of circumstances.

    My husband is in prison and I've experienced similar feelings to those you describe. Thanks for giving them words.

    All the best to you.