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I am a mommy, scribe, and middle-school English teacher. I am trying to cope with being separated from my beloved. DoUWantMore? email me: theprisonerswife@gmail.com

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i wonder, i wonder

Posted by the prisoner's wife On 1:41 PM

I rarely check my email anymore, but recently I received a note from a woman whose boyfriend is locked up (hello, if you’re reading). She wanted some advice. I wondered what profound bit of information I could offer to comfort and guide her? All of my years of education, and nearly two years of dealing with THIS, led me to one clichéd phrase: take it one day at a time.

Since this journey (and blog) began I have been so full of colliding emotions: doubt, love, blame, dedication, sadness, joy…each fighting for a seat on my train of thought. I have made it through all of this by sheer divine force. It is a wonder I haven’t gone (completely) crazy yet, but we women aren’t afforded the luxury to lose our minds, permanently.

I have my moments, fits of crying—always hushed—where I feel I can’t go on like this, trapped by the distance and loneness. But the alternative…isn’t even in question.

This weekend was the first time beloved and I actually spoke the gravity of the years we are facing out loud to each other.

Ten summers will pass before he is home
Our son will be just about to turn 13
I will be pushing 38
And the world
Will have changed so much

Everyday I question what I/he/we will look like in 10 years. Ten years from now, what will “us” even feel like?

9 Response to 'i wonder, i wonder'

  1. Ananda Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1180169640000#c6407570812946126869'> Saturday, May 26, 2007 1:54:00 AM

    many blessings sistalove pw for always sharing from your heart. light and love to you, your beloved and son. may you all have peace. ananda


  2. LisaC Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1180212660000#c792155574633189107'> Saturday, May 26, 2007 1:51:00 PM

    Hello lady, it's been awhile. I took a break and just recently got back in to the swing of things. Just had to stop by and tell you how beautiful you are.


  3. CapCity Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1180309800000#c8735510247071070526'> Sunday, May 27, 2007 4:50:00 PM

    This is my first time 'round your way. Wow. is all i can say. u have the strength that i cannot imagine and i thank u for sharing openly.


  4. Anonymous Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1180332060000#c6306367759441521911'> Sunday, May 27, 2007 11:01:00 PM

    Hey Queen,

    Good to see that you are still - STANDING. Sometimes that's all one can do through the quagmire. My candles stay lit for you, beloved and the little Prince; and my prayers are always on my lips with the wind carrying them to your ears.



  5. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1180445400000#c3702171092844557252'> Tuesday, May 29, 2007 6:30:00 AM

    This is my first time here as well. Thanks for sharing your experiences. And keep ya head up!


  6. Stephen Bess Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1180453860000#c7874508238650564912'> Tuesday, May 29, 2007 8:51:00 AM

    Hey sis. Thanks for sharing this with us. May God bless all of you and keep you. Peace~


  7. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1180471200000#c6189190663885993973'> Tuesday, May 29, 2007 1:40:00 PM

    thank you all for your support!

    ananda & lisa: thank you. i am always greatful for your presence.

    Capacity: thank you for stopping by my blog! you are very welcome!

    strength/courage: thank you. many blessings to you as well.

    bless: thank you for always shining a light!

    Caribbeanchyck(!!!): hey sis, i miss speaking to you. since i switched jobs no more MSN messenger for me...although i just got it on my phone. thank you for your prayers!!


  8. Anonymous Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1180477680000#c1373320644917112521'> Tuesday, May 29, 2007 3:28:00 PM

    Hey...keep ya head up..you can make it through this...I know it's hard, trust me I know it's hard...and it seems like each day, there is a new struggle...but keeping the faith, and staying positive, and staying true will help guide you through this time...My true only had 2 years, and I thought I was gonna lose my mind...But I pray daily, sometimes every day, and I've noticed that I've gotten stronger, for all of us...


  9. Anonymous Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-rarely-check-my-email-anymore-but.html?showComment=1181403300000#c4323135259572161505'> Saturday, June 09, 2007 8:35:00 AM

    Hey Sis! Long time no hear indeed. I'm sorry we lost touch too, but do reach out to me at: Theskyismyscribe@gmail.com

    Hold your head up Queen and keep praying. Prayer works all the time.