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I am a mommy, scribe, and middle-school English teacher. I am trying to cope with being separated from my beloved. DoUWantMore? email me: theprisonerswife@gmail.com

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save the babies first

Posted by the prisoner's wife On 5:50 PM
Save the babies first

The "cool-pose culture" of young black men was simply too gratifying to give up. For these young men, it was almost like a drug, hanging out on the street after school, shopping and dressing sharply, sexual conquests, party drugs, hip-hop music and culture, the fact that almost all the superstar athletes and a great many of the nation's best entertainers were black. (more)

So what's going on with our sons? As a mother of a little boy, I am very concerned about his life. Not only will he have to deal with societal pressures and institutionalized racism, apparently he must overcome the frontin' of his peers and their "cool-pose" stance. While this article was interesting to read & made me do a bit of thinking, parts of it rubbed me the wrong way. The author's tone, for one, seemed a bit demeaning at first, virtually writing off previous studies of why Black men & boy are in the state they are in. So I read this with a grain of salt. But even with that in mind, I found myself nodding, and thinking that it might be something to the notion of the "cool-pose." I see plenty of men and boys trying to front to keep up appearances. As someone who has tutored extensively, I notice it's always the girls who are proud to be smart, while the boys try to downplay their intelligence and overemphasize their bravado. As an avid hip hop head, I am hesitant to point the finger at the music, but it is hard to overlook a culture that embraces and celebrates bravado & coolness (and bling), over all else. Who really knows what is the exact cause of this issue, but whatever it is, I pray my son (or any son) never falls victim to it. I pray we are able to mold him and teach him how to be a successful, honorable man, who isn't afraid of his intelligence and isn't scared to express himself. Say word.

5 Response to 'save the babies first'

  1. Pamela Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/03/save-babies-first.html?showComment=1143605820000#c114360587300190556'> Tuesday, March 28, 2006 8:17:00 PM

    Consider the world that your black male has inherited. A system that has expended every effort to annihilate, humiliate, intoxicate, emasculate, castrate, imprison, and demonize him.

    Is it any wonder why he fights to survive “by any means necessary”?

    Children model the behavior that is shown to them or that receives positive reinforcement.

    Where are the male role models/mentors for these young black men? Most have fallen victim to the same systematic attempt at exterminating them. They are addicted, imprisoned, or socially, morally, or educationally impotent.

    Strong Black men, who have navigated the mine field relatively unscathed, are too few, too complacent, too involved in their own personal struggle, or too busy talking about it and not being about it. I applaud all those who are stepping up to help mentor these young men and I encourage others to put their rhetoric into actions…the task is monumental.

    Is it any wonder why these young black men pose? Why so many, young and old, front?

    When they enter a public school system that is threatened by an intelligent, assertive, black male? When their self-confidence and articulation is “rewarded” with being labeled a “problem” student, a “discipline” problem? When any attempt at self-empowerment is quickly quashed?

    When the public school system demonizes you as a child and the media demonizes you as an adult…When you have been disenfranchised and rendered powerless…how do you stay viable? Is it any wonder why young black males embrace some semblance of power through intimidation and fear?

    Not everyone has the means…I understand that. But…if you are able – by any means necessary…reclaim the children. Take them back, out of the hands that deal them death (on so many levels). Home school – by any means necessary, mentor – by any means necessary, find a cultural school – by any means necessary, form a parenting co-op…

    By any means necessary…preserve the origins of life…save a black male.


  2. Stephen Bess Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/03/save-babies-first.html?showComment=1143640260000#c114364027976998671'> Wednesday, March 29, 2006 5:51:00 AM

    This is a tough one to ponder. Pamela said it all.
    I'm an avid Hip Hop fan too, but the stuff that the record companies are putting out these days are definitely not helping the situation. I'll sum it up with Toni Morrison's Bluest Eye via Black Star featuring Mos Def and Talib:

    "...not strong...only aggressive, not free...we're only licensed, we're not compassionate only polite,...not good but well behaved and chasing after death so we can call ourselves brave...still living like mental slaves."

    As long as we have good mothers and good fathers to intervene on this madness then there is hope.


  3. her soledad Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/03/save-babies-first.html?showComment=1143653760000#c114365380169288408'> Wednesday, March 29, 2006 9:36:00 AM


    They need examples in this necessary direction. Tavis and Cornell, Haki and Quaresh, Dr Keith Black, Obery. We need to show them something else; something that counters what they are exposed to daily. Balance is the key. So when it is time for them to make a choice, they will actually have something to choose from.

    We can show 'em better than we can tell 'em.


  4. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/03/save-babies-first.html?showComment=1143655260000#c114365528919622168'> Wednesday, March 29, 2006 10:01:00 AM

    "We can show 'em better than we can tell 'em."

    her soledad: so very true, which i why this whole ordeal w/ my beloved is over VERY soon. we have a son & i don't want him to fall into the same traps that so many of our fathers/sons/brothers have.

    Pamela--thank you for saying everything most (sensible) of us are thinking!

    S.Bess--well said. btw: i love that black star song..."Thieves In the Night". they need to make another album, yo!


  5. Hummingbyrd Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/03/save-babies-first.html?showComment=1143962340000#c114396234641941563'> Saturday, April 01, 2006 11:19:00 PM

    On the real.

    I hate, I and I use that word with its intended meaning, "these kinds" of articles.

    Unless you are doing something tangible, to help the people that you are talking about in the article stfu. Now.

    For example:
    A 1-800 hotline for brothers to call for questions re: child support, legal aid, post felony employment, custody issues etc....

    Otherwise, Orlando and 'nem ain't doing NOTHING but selling newspapers.