Posted by the prisoner's wife On 6:11 PM
("why you wanna go and do that?"
remember that joint? Q-Tip. LOVED it!)
so tomorrow is thursday, and i spent the better part of today (who am i kidding?), i spent the WHOLE day at home...loving it. my voice, or lack there of, gave me an excuse to play hooky from work. i mean, it's hard to work an urban classroom with no voice, so i fell back. being home ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS makes me miss not being here full time.
when i first had the munchkin and was on maternity leave i absolutely dreaded going back to work. i searched high and low for something i could do from home, but who was i kidding, i needed the stability of my job. beloved had just gotten locked up, and we didn't know what we were looking at. so i did the grown-woman thing, and put my needs/wants last.
i can't really say that i LOVE teaching. there are things that i love about it, things that i hate, and things that frustrate the hell out of me, but overall? do i feel like it's my "calling", my "true passion"? not so much. i mean, i totally see myself teaching is SOME capacity, but not middle school. at the end of this year i am going to start searching for a gig at a high school. perhaps slightly older students will bring a welcomed change and give me some new perspective. i shouldn't dread going to work. not that i DREAD it, but i should be looking forward to it.
don't get me wrong, i'm thankful i have a job and i don't treat my students as if they are just a pay check. even though i'm not happy every single day, i still realize the weight of my job. there are things they need to know before stepping out of my classroom, and i break my neck to make sure they learn them.
but am i happy?