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I am a mommy, scribe, and middle-school English teacher. I am trying to cope with being separated from my beloved. DoUWantMore? email me: theprisonerswife@gmail.com

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wildfire

Posted by the prisoner's wife On 12:55 PM


it's funny how fast bad news spreads. yesterday was a testament to the swiftness of news. yesterday i learned that one of my best friends from childhood lost her mother. i was completely SHOCKED! this woman is someone i've known all my life. i grew up appreciating her humor, her warmth, and her love. when i was a youngster and COMPLETELY attached to my mother's hip, her house was the ONLY one i'd dare to spend the night at. i am still in shock. she is, or i guess was, younger than my own mother which brings up so many thoughts of how i'd feel if i'd lost my own mother.

the news traveled fast. a friend called me at about 4:22pm to say our friend’s mom had passed. she had only passed the hour before. i called brooklyn to tell my our other friend (who grew up with us), she called her mom in long beach, and through a series of calls and text messages (crazy, right?) we were able to piece together the story of her ending. i don't really know what to say. i have NO idea what to say to my friend. i am not even equipped to deal with this...like...i have no words. what would i want to hear? (nothing). "i'm sorry for your loss," just seems to hollow and unfamiliar. i will have to think & gather my thoughts and make that call.

it's crazy
how short
life really is

today i was challenged with loss again. a student that has been absent for a few days returned today, and i asked where she'd been. i was expecting something like..."i was sick," or "i was out of town," but instead she told me her dad died, unexpectedly in South Africa. again, i was faced with trying to gather the words to convey my utter hurt and concern for her. all i could muster was "oh no...i'm so sorry to hear that." i felt shitty because i couldn't be of more comfort. i felt horrible that i couldn't come up with something more personal…to say how much i wish she wasn't dealing with this at 13.

life is short. yesterday beloved's aunt asked me how i am dealing with the situation of him being away & me being a single mom. in light of the things my friend & my student are facing, this is a cakewalk. i am still alive, and beloved, although gone, will be home soon (insha'allah). this just gives me more reasons to pause and take in every single moment and enjoy LIFE. no matter what it brings, no matter the hard knocks and setbacks, i am still ALIVE. i am breathing and able to live and LOVE my people...that's all i really need.

4 Response to 'wildfire'

  1. Stephen Bess Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2008/06/wildfire.html?showComment=1212531180000#c8706877045415216611'> Tuesday, June 03, 2008 3:13:00 PM

    Amen. I hear that. It's difficult to know what to say during those times. Sincere words always come across as comfort, so your words, no matter how simple you think they may be, were comforting and sincere. So, that's good. :)

     

  2. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2008/06/wildfire.html?showComment=1212547080000#c8276143931015046050'> Tuesday, June 03, 2008 7:38:00 PM

    Bless: it is very difficult, but thank you. i pray for her strength. i can't even begin to imagine losing one of my parents & i'm grown.

     

  3. Lovebabz Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2008/06/wildfire.html?showComment=1212576000000#c4730471270196069692'> Wednesday, June 04, 2008 3:40:00 AM

    Sister,
    My prayers are with you. I lost my Mother unexpectedly while I was in the middle of a graduate program in NYC. It broke my heart in ways I never knew a heart could be broken. But it also did another amazing thing. Her passing summoned a quiet Grown Woman Spirit I never new before.

    It is these moments that brings who were are and what we are made of to the forefront.

    Take solcae in knowing how rich your life is for knowing your those that have passed from your life. That is the gift.

     

  4. Christina Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2008/06/wildfire.html?showComment=1212588060000#c3851063572239732884'> Wednesday, June 04, 2008 7:01:00 AM

    Losing someone you love can be incredibly hard. I pray that God watches over both of these families and sends them healing at this time.

    If you need me sweetie, I'm here for you.