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I am a mommy, scribe, and middle-school English teacher. I am trying to cope with being separated from my beloved. DoUWantMore? email me: theprisonerswife@gmail.com

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nervous energy

Posted by the prisoner's wife On 9:51 PM
nervous energy

today i woke up feeling horrible.

last night my stomach was rumbling and in pain. i didn't sleep. i chalked it up to nervousness. you see, yesterday, before i left work, i handed in my letter of resignation. it's time to move on, take a short vacation, go see beloved, and come back to start my teaching gig. so, i was nervous about seeing my boss today. i didn't want to feel awkward and have that weird interaction that you tend to have with people after you tell them you're quitting.

this morning, i felt sick, but i figured a hot shower would get me back on track. when i came out of the shower i felt dizzy. felt like i was going to collapse. my son was starting to get impatient. he was tired of being in his crib and sesame street was no longer keeping him entertained. i still tried to keep it together and get dressed, but the more i moved, the more i felt like i would end up crashing to the floor. i knew then that i couldn't go to work. then the dizziness made me nauseous. i haven't felt that sick since i was pregnant. all i could do was lay down and try to call someone to come pick up the munchkin.

i called my mom & my older brother, no one was picking up their phones. when i finally got a hold of my mom, i managed to make the munchkin a bottle and seat him in his bouncy chair. when my mom came to get him, i was passed out on the couch and he was 2 seconds away from eating a quarter.

times like these, i REALLY need beloved. need to call him at work and ask him to come home. to come take care of me and make me feel like everything will be ok. pick up our son, take him to the park, bring me some soup or pineapples. baby me a little.

missing him is tough. i can't wait to see him. speaking to him today made me feel better. hearing the concern in his voice, his calming words, the love that flowed, eased my headache a bit. speaking to him made going to the doctor bearable. he had to TELL me go to. if it were up to me, i would have laid on the couch or the floor for the entire day. hell, it probably would have been more productive than dragging myself to the doctor. she did nothing for me. guessed at my condition. told me that perhaps i had a stomach flu (huh?), then perhaps it was a sinus infection (wha?). told me a sinus infection could cause dizziness and the headaches. i feel like i could have diagnosed myself better if i would have gone to WebMD, but whatever. i do feel better now (no thanks to her). i guess i just needed some rest and to relax. whatever happens at work for the remainder of my time there happens. i'll continue to work hard until my last day.

i'm happy tho. excited to be moving on, but scared. hopefully i'll be a good teacher. hopefully i'll make a difference. hopefully...my class won't be full up with bad ass kids.

9 Response to 'nervous energy'

  1. MagicalSis Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1154604360000#c115460438378306100'> Thursday, August 03, 2006 4:26:00 AM

    hello...I just quit my job of 11 years, just because it was time. It was scary and hard to leave all the folks I have been working with all that time.(even my boss) I didn't even have a job to replace that one.
    But I trusted that all would be ok if I just rested for awhile. Then 3 weeks into my hiatus I got a call from a friend who needed someone full time to work. So... into a new opportunity I go.

    Nice blog, will come back ro read more.
    I found you through X.


  2. Stephen Bess Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1154624460000#c115462447356589724'> Thursday, August 03, 2006 10:01:00 AM

    I'm glad that you are feeling better. Good for you on stepping out and stepping forward!! I have absolutely NO doubt that you will make a wonderful teacher. I'm right behind you. I'll be heading back to the classroom sooner than later. May you, your love, and your child be blessed. Peace, sister~


  3. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1154631480000#c115463153518843002'> Thursday, August 03, 2006 11:58:00 AM

    Oh, I have many of those days. I call it love sick. I just feel like laying there and crying hard, you know that sobbing, sobbing so hard you're soul feels cleansed hard. Life is rough especially when the love of your life can't be there to witness it. We talk all the time over the phone, but it's not the same. I want to see his facial expressions and feel his touch. I want him to be as mad, sad, happy, or whatever, as me.
    Career changes...wow, that by far was one of the scariest moments of my life, but all worth it. Now, I'm one of those crazy people sipping my coffee singing tunes with my daughter in the carpool lane on the way to work!
    Oh, and I'm going to try to get my blog up and workin, I can't wait to share.


  4. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1154636580000#c115463660051669727'> Thursday, August 03, 2006 1:23:00 PM

    aw im sorry to hear that. i hope you feel better soon. i used to teach and i know for a fact that your gonna need the energy as a teacher.

    and i know how it feels to miss someone when your sick. i sometimes miss my mom coz she was the one to "baby" me whenever i fell ill. heh.


  5. Xavier Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1154638260000#c115463827868439826'> Thursday, August 03, 2006 1:51:00 PM

    @Magic: (kiss)

    @P's Wife: Good luck on your new start (even though your success will have little to do with luck.) Something tells me it's a GREAT decision. Just be true to yourself and all else will fall in place. Send my regards to Beloved.


  6. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1154671860000#c115467186278444166'> Thursday, August 03, 2006 11:11:00 PM

    magical: congrats on the new job! as well as taking a leap of faith. i hope it works out for you.

    bless: your words are always appreciated. thank you for your faith in me *smile*

    soul sis: yes, you really must share. i feel what you are saying & i know there are many more like us. bless up.

    lastlife: thank you. thank you.

    x: thank you. i will pass on your well wished to my mr. *smile*


  7. Ananda Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1154994900000#c115499495921748693'> Monday, August 07, 2006 4:55:00 PM

    first congrats on taking Spirit's call into the physical world and making it a reality. it takes a lot to do that and be who you is --- you spirit woman ... creative person...momma, life partner, etc.may your body temple harmonize itself with the truth that all is well. paz, ananda


  8. Aly Cat 121 Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1155069960000#c115507001641651281'> Tuesday, August 08, 2006 1:46:00 PM

    LOL at the "bad azz kids." I think most of the students I taught were some sort delinquent or the other. But I didn't care, they all were my babies. Teaching is a thankless jobs, except to those who you teach and it makes every headache worth the while.


  9. Hummingbyrd Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/08/nervous-energy.html?showComment=1155564240000#c115556427256249675'> Monday, August 14, 2006 7:04:00 AM

    If you came it here and didn't holler we GON" HAVE SUPER FOUNK!

    Any hoo. Travel safely.

    And congrats on making moves.