Seeming Normal

Good Friday found my beloved being released from the box (solitary). While he waited for a pin number for the phones, he arranged for one of his brethren to call me and let me know he had been moved back to general population. I was so relived and happy. i have a very active imagination and all I kept thinking was that he was stuck in "the hole," some damp, dark place that was painfully small. So when I found out he was out, I almost did a cartwheel.

40+ days ago when my beloved was moved into the box the COs "misplaced" all of his "property," so when I received word he was released, I immediately sprang into action. I threw on some sweats, got the little one together, packed up the baby bjorn & headed for target.

I got my beloved all sorts of goodies: a pair of shorts, jeans, socks, boxers, books, a soccer magazine, envelopes, stamps, paper, anything I thought that he might need and want. I want to make his time on the island as comfortable as possible, especially considering they don't issue clothes, shoes, etc. If you don't have those things you are out of luck, so I always want to make sure he is covered. Funny thing though, after visiting with his mom, he called and he seemed almost relaxed. After I told him all the things I got for him, he told me that he was very grateful, but that I didn't have to go to such lengths. 40 days ago he may have asked for more things, but now, he seems content with whatever I am able to give (and he has even asked me several times I want him to send me any money...how is this possible?). He even told me to stop buying things because he has too much *lol*

I am so grateful right now because he made it though those 40 days, and has come out seemingly more mellow, more reflective, and quoting Malcolm X like he's going out of style. I am thankful that the books I send him are both entertaining and enlightening, and that he is getting a lot out of reading them. I just hope that I am able to keep up. I haven't been able to fully read a book in such a long time, while he devours them so quickly. I am also grateful that we are able to talk more (3 times a day!), and things are back to "normal."

But should I really be happy that this is now our "normal"? I think about that a lot. I don't want either one of us to fall too comfortably into this rhythm. I don't want jail and/or prison to become a large part of our lives. I don't want to become an expert on how the system works. I would LOVE to remain ignorant to the whole thing, but I cannot. One thing I will do is keep reminding myself that this whole situation is temporary & will soon be over.

In the meantime
I click my heels
and imagine him home