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I am a mommy, scribe, and middle-school English teacher. I am trying to cope with being separated from my beloved. DoUWantMore? email me: theprisonerswife@gmail.com

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playing house

Posted by the prisoner's wife On 2:36 PM
playing house

This weekend I got a glimpse of what life might look like if my beloved has to go upstate. My family went out of town, so it's just me and the little one. Although I LOVE having the place to ourselves, I must admit it's a bit lonely. I love my son, but there are only so many times I can play peak-a-boo. There are only so many stories I can read. Only so many times I can dance him around the room until I need a break. Who do you turn to when there's no one to give you a break? I don't mean that I need a babysitter, I have one. But just an hour or two, a nap, a chance to read a magazine, some alone time so I can regroup and play with him again. Times like these I wish my beloved were here. What am I saying? I wish he were here all the time. I wish he could play with our son. I wish we could pack up the car and head to the park for a day out. I wish he could give him a bath. Anything. Everything.

Today the little one and I went to target to pick up a few things. When I go to target I love to look around at EVERYTHING and I usually spend way too much money. But today, I browsed the home stuff--curtains, bedding, bathroom goodies, etc., and I all I kept thinking about was "When _____ comes home we'll decorate our house really nicely." I kept thinking about our apartment in Brooklyn, and how we picked out everything together. How we decorated it, carried it from Ikea in Jersey (on the subway *lol*) and adorned our place the way we wanted. I miss that. I miss having my own space. I love my mom for letting me stay and save money, but there's nothing like having your own space. I feel like our life is on pause. There are so many things I'd like to do, namely move into our own apartment, but I can't. I don't want to do anything big until I know what's going to happen with my beloved. So I wait. And I wish. And I pray for things to turn out the way we want.

4 Response to 'playing house'

  1. Pamela Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/04/playing-house.html?showComment=1144636800000#c114463680299976396'> Sunday, April 09, 2006 7:40:00 PM

    These things will come - have faith.

    And when they do you will have an appreciation for them that would have never come without knowing the hardships you now know.

    I pray that you find the resolution you seek and that you can be reunited as a family.

    I pray your "beloved" has the opportunity to love, guide, and mentor your "little one", as the time they are "little ones" is fleeting.

    Stay strong - This too shall pass

     

  2. Stephen Bess Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/04/playing-house.html?showComment=1144674540000#c114467456306854422'> Monday, April 10, 2006 6:09:00 AM

    I pray that God will intervene and bless your family.

     

  3. http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/04/playing-house.html?showComment=1144701540000#c114470156162543264'> Monday, April 10, 2006 1:39:00 PM

    I love going to Target too!

     

  4. Hummingbyrd Said,
    http://theprisonerswife.blogspot.com/2006/04/playing-house.html?showComment=1144732260000#c114473226078055619'> Monday, April 10, 2006 10:11:00 PM

    Oh my sweet.

    So much of what I and you are confronting is learning to love in the face of uncertainty.

    Last summer, I left a man I THOUGHT was going to be my husband in June of '06. But hey, sh*t happens.

    One of the scariest thoughts was will someone ever love me LIKE THAT again?

    Trust.


    This is grown folks b'ness.
    And I work on it every day.

    I honor your courage.