"If you don’t follow me when I go out, I’m going to kill you. Go forward and live or turn back and die."

~Harriet Tubman

while i do not subscribe to the literal meaning of "vote or die," i can certainly understand Harriet Tubman's message. people have died for our right to vote. Denmark Vesey , Nat Turner, MLK, Gabriel Prosser, Medgar Evers, brother Malcom and a plethora of others have given their lives for this moment. it has only been a mere 143 years since Slavery was abolished by the passage of the 13th amendment, and only 43 years since the Voting Rights Act of 1965 outlawed discriminatory practices against African-Americans, and yet here we are...on the eve of making history.

i believe in the Hopeful America Barack Obama speaks of. i am esatic that finally, a Black child can say that they want to be president someday and someone will truly believe it is possible. i am hopeful at what this election will mean to my son and the way he sees himself as a Black man/child in America.

i cannot tell you how to vote, nor do i want to. all i care about is that you do, indeed, go out and vote tomorrow. the lines may be long, the procProxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 s may be tiring, but this will be one of the most important things you ever do in your life. now is your time, our time, to be apart of history.

do not take this moment for granted.

i am sure of who i am voting for for president. i am pretty sure of how i will vote on farm animals, and non-violent drug crimes. but i am not at all sure of how i will vote on California's proposition to ban gay marriage.

i am the granddaughter of a Southern Baptist minister. i spent my ENTIRE life in church, sunday school, revivals, and the like. to me, the Bible is sacred and i believe deeply in God, but i am not sure how i feel about amending our state's constitution to ban gay marriage.

perhaps it's because i haven't resolved my feelings about homosexuality. while i don't feel it's necessarily "wrong", i do feel some kind of way (i know that saying sucks) about homosexual couples & marriage. part of me wonders why i even care what two adults want to do with their life, and in all honesty i don't. but another part of me sort of twitches when i think of the institution of marriage and homosexuality in conjunction with my Christian upbringing. my mother, my grandmother, and my church are firmly against allowing gay marriage. i am wavering. but then again, i have wavered a bit from the teachings of my church. while i do believe in Jesus and the trinity, i also believe that the big three, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, are all talking about the same God. but i digress...i am not the only one struggling with this issue. Black churches all over Los Angeles are debating this issue.

Fred Price, the pastor of one of LA's first Mega-Churches, commented that, "Marriage is between a man and a woman," and urged his audience to "stand with God in saying the definition of marriage must not change."

A few miles away at Lucy Florence Cultural Center in Leimert Park, a much smaller group of ministers -- three, as it turned out -- spoke against the measure. Among their arguments: that African Americans, given their history of discrimination, should not be taking away rights.

while i haven't resolved my feelings toward comparing the struggle for gay rights to that of the civil rights movement, i am clear that any type of discrimination, be it on the basis of race, class, gender, or sexuality, threatens us all. i have always considered myself a progressive person, but yet, i am struggling with this issue. why? in the essay, "Homophobia in Black Communities," bell hooks explores the inner struggle of (some) black folks when trying to think critically about homosexuality. she writes,

Black communities may be perceived as more homophobic than other communities because there is a tendency for individuals in black communities to verbally express in an outspoken way anti-gay sentiments. I talked with a straight black male in a California community who acknowledged that though he has often made jokes poking fun at gays or expressing contempt, as a means of bonding in groups settings, in his private life he was a central support person for a gay sister. Such contradictory behavior seems pervasive in Black communities. It speaks to ambivalence about sexuality in general, about sex as a subject of conversation, and to the ambivalent feelings and attitudes toward homosexuality. Various structures of emotional and economic dependence create gaps between attitudes and actions. Yet a distinction must be made between black people overtly expressing prejudice toward homosexuals and homophobic white people who never made homophobic comments but who have the power to actively exploit and oppress gay people in areas of housing, employment, etc.

although i agree that black people--and people in general--are, at times, ambivalent about homosexuality, i don't feel that we (black people) should be given a pass on our thoughts/feelings simply because we do not "have the power to actively exploit and oppress gay people," especially now, as we are faced with this constitutional amendment. as i think through my own ambivalence, i am struck by my ability NOT to have a clear stance on the issues. i have never thought so hard in my life about a singular ballot initiative. while i am not totally comfortable casting my vote in favor of gay marriage, i am not at all comfortable adding this amendment to our state's constitution. i am usually able to make up my mind rather quickly, but i'm struggling. it's like my religion, politics, and personal POV are all wrestling...and right now, i'm not sure which one will come out on top.

(click on image to register to vote)

the economic world, our world, is in utter turmoil. just the other day i was thinking of buying a condo, now i'm wondering if i'll even find a lender (who'll still BE around). now, more than ever it's imperative that we--young people, black people, white, old, women, men, whatever--rise up and make sure our voices are heard at the polls. no matter what your party alliances, this election is far too important than to just sit back and HOPE your guy wins.

if you haven't already, please register to vote. if you have, PLEASE make sure you show up on Nov. 4th!