Hello, I'm TPW and I'm a procrastinator!

*hangs head in shame*

For as long as I can remember I have put things off until the last possible minute. When I was younger, I would wait until my mom was threatening me to clean my room. In school, I was always the one burning the midnight (and sometimes 4am) oil to finish papers and projects. Even now, I'll wait until the night before (sometimes) to plan lessons for my students, even though I know that it sucks to stay up so late these days. But I just can't seem to stop...why?

I was on Twitter (of course, right?) when @FunkyBrownChick shared an interesting link about procrastination. Although that article was a little over my head (too much scientific-speak, I mean I'm smart, but I've been on summer break!), but I did find a whole slew of articles aimed at understanding and combating procrastination. One of the articles, "Ending Procrastination" jumped out at me because I need to learn this skill badly.

Presently, I'm sitting here blogging, when I should be purchasing a plane ticket. You see, the munchkin and I have a date with beloved on Friday(!!) and I still don't have our tickets. This always happens. I wait and wait to buy them in the hopes that the price will go down (it never does), and then end up overpaying at the last minute because I'm worried something better will come along. Worry, according to the article, is another form of procrastination that stops people from acting. I totally get it. I'm not a huge worry wart, but when it comes to buying airline tickets? I worry about everything. But WHY? What am I so worried about? Clearly, I end up overpaying in the end, so it can't be the money, right?

The article on ending procrastination gives 8 strategies for reducing procrastination and I hope they are magic bullets.

1. Make a list of everything you have to do.
2. Write a statement of intention.
3. Set realistic goals.
4. Break it down into specific tasks.
5. Make your task meaningful.
6. Promise yourself a reward.
7. Eliminate tasks you never plan to do. Be honest!
8. Estimate the amount of time you think it will take you to complete a task. Then increase the amount by 100%.

Those things sound great in THEORY, but I know myself. I will procrastinate on making the list and end right back up in the same spot. I am starting to think procrastination has a lot to do with fear. Check it, I procrastinate on writing because I'm afraid to fail. I feel my writing (or myself?) isn't good enough. I harbor several other self-doubts, so I understand that sort of emotional procrastination. But what's with the airfare?


~
Are you a procrastinator?
What have you been putting off that you want to do?
Got any advice? I need it!

(going to meet my man)

on visiting

smalltown u.s.a.
a blur of cows and branches
and prisons emerge

out of nowhere we
rush to hold memories in
tangled fingers and

polaroids. you ask
for a soda, burger, and
what's new in the world

everything has changed
and stayed the same all at once
your face tightening

remembering each
curve of my lips. we smile but
watch the clock tensely
~~


(in the sticks...literally)

tomorrow is our last day of visiting. i can't believe how quickly these four days have seemed to zoom by. i am tired. i will not return to work on monday rested, but rather still feeling like i need a vacation. my son has been acting out a bit. beloved and i have been having a wondering spin on the dance floor. i am dreading tomorrow. i wish i could stay longer, but work and bank accounts do not permit it. tomorrow will be a bit sad, but i will be brave. when 3:05 hits, and the COs call out that visiting is done, my heart will drop. his heart will drop. we will hug and kiss for minutes on end, but it still won't be enough. he will go back, be strip searched and lock in to a lonely cell with nothing but his memories of our conversation and kisses. i will go back to an empty hotel room to pack, and get ready for a long and lonely flight. in a few months we will do it all over again. the joy. the heartache. coming together and leaving again. this is the cycle of our life. for now.